It’s a difficult thing for a person to accept his or her body the way it is. Thousands of people go through eating disorders because they think that they have to look a certain way. The truth behind this situation is that everyone is unique and beautiful the way they are, and they don’t need to change to fit stereotypes projected by the media.

Here are some ways that I coped with my insecurities. I hope they help and inspire people to love their bodies for what they are.

Cut the mean things people say out of your life

One of the main reasons I had a poor self esteem was because of what other people were saying about my body. It hurts when you think those things about yourself, but it hurts a lot more when others say vitriolic things about you. People that you trust can sometimes turn on you and they won’t even realize it. I love my family, and I’m comfortable in front of them, but sometimes they’re a little too comfortable with telling me if I look bad or fat. I’ve been called fat for my entire life, and it wasn’t until recently that my family realized that those words can really hurt someone.

Overcoming these thoughts expressed by others is difficult, but necessary. Now, I think I’m fine the way I am. Cut these people and the mean things they say out of your life. If they don’t come to their senses, and don’t acknowledge your feelings, forget about them! You have better things to do than be around people who just like to tear you apart.

Surround yourself with understanding friends

Friends are key figures in your life. You trust them with everything and love them so much. The worst feeling is when you feel uncomfortable with your friends. I used to feel incredibly insecure about my body when I went swimming with my friends because they were all skinny with toned bodies, and I felt like I was smothered in flab. I felt embarrassed in front of my friends, and that’s the last thing you want. Your friends are your friends because they will love and support you no matter what you look like. They won’t stop being your friends because you look a certain way, and if they do, they’re not the right friends for you. Find true friends who will stand by you and encourage you to be comfortable with yourself.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others implies that you desire to look like that person. It’s okay to say you want to live a healthy lifestyle like another person, but to compare yourself to someone with a skinny waist and small arms is self deprecating. Each person has a different metabolic rate which allows them to digest food quickly or slowly. If you have a fast metabolism, you can probably eat a couple slices of cake everyday for a week, and still look exactly the same. However, people like me who have slower metabolisms digest food at a different rate which limits what we can eat without looking like we’re bloated.

Everyone has a different body composition which leaves them with different body types. Some reasons for your appearance are due to heredity and some are due to what you eat. Whatever the reason may be, don’t think that it’s your fault you look a certain way or that your body isn’t improving. I’ve done so many workouts and extreme diets that told me they would yield results, but I never mirrored the appearance of the workout instructors. Just because one person has a certain attribution that may seem attractive doesn’t mean that that is the thing you are missing to make you perfect. Nobody’s perfect; if we were, we would all look the same.  Who knows, maybe other people are looking at you, wishing that they had your smile or eyes. There are beautiful things about everyone. Flaunt them!

Be a little brave and try new things

Trying new things is a great way to make you feel more confident. When I became body-conscious, I decided to try things I never did before because maybe people would notice me for something else rather than my slightly chubby hips and thunder thighs. I became engrossed in the world of fashion. I turned to fashion to find clothes to put together so people would compliment my appearance more. Sounds shallow, doesn’t it? Honestly, I needed it. I felt like I needed to hear compliments from other people, because I was so used to the verbiage I heard at home. Even though the idea may sound dumb, it was the shot of confidence I needed to make me feel happier about myself again. The skirts and tops I bought didn’t hide my insecurities, but wore them boldly. Sometimes you have to face the thing you fear the most, and this was a major defining moment in my life.

I didn’t want to be corpulent in sweatpants and sweatshirts. If I was going to live out my chubbyness, I was going to do it in style. Other things like music and writing for instance helped me be more than just a slightly plump sixteen year old. When people started reading what I was writing, and listening to me sing, I became comfortable in my own skin, something I hadn’t felt in years. My bravery and determination to try new things took over my personality and made me a completely different person, and I love it. Instead of trying to change your dress size, change what you do. Put yourself out there, and you might come back changed for the better. Find something you love so much that you forget about your worries and insecurities. Be yourself, not your body.

Try doing workouts to feel good, not just because you want to look a certain way

My mom used to round up my sister and I to do evening workouts to make us look skinnier. We were all convinced we would look just like the instructors, but we didn’t. My sister began to shape her body up pretty well, as she already had a skinny build and just needed to get toned. I, however, didn’t have the same results. I already had big thighs and wide hips, so the one thing workout videos did for me was tone me. I was becoming bigger, not thinner, and I was scared for myself. I fought with myself because I looked fat and it was all my fault, but it wasn’t. My body is different. Maybe my love handles weren’t shrinking, and maybe my arms weren’t getting smaller, but they were getting toned.

I discovered something I never thought I would love about working out: feeling strong and healthy. For so many years, I only wanted to workout if it meant I would get skinny, but that all went away when I started feeling healthy. For once, I felt good about myself regardless of what my body looked like, and that is the greatest feeling in the world. Do workouts to be healthy, not to look a certain way. Your body is important, but it’s what’s inside that’s more important. Feeling good about yourself goes so much deeper than just fitting into a size 0 pair of jeans.

We all come in different shapes and sizes. We all come from different places, and we all come from different people. These factors may seem like they define us, but they don’t. You define you. Don’t worry about the weight displayed on a scale, and don’t worry about what other people think of you. Worry about what you think of you, because at the end of the day, we are the biggest critics of ourselves.

Watch Nina Raman’s video about body acceptance here:

https://youtu.be/jqjskS3N0ew