LANSDALE—In a shocking turn of events, ABC has announced plans to turn North Penn High School into a reality TV show, citing the massive success of Abbott Elementary as inspiration. The network, apparently eager to capture more of the Philadelphia-area school charm, believes that North Penn’s campus, diverse student body, and everyday chaos make it the perfect setting for their next hit series.
“We saw how Abbott Elementary resonated with audiences- people love the authenticity, the humor, the charm. So we thought, why not take it a step further?” said an anonymous ABC executive, who claims the network has been scouting high schools for months, especially after the bee incident.
According to inside sources, the show -reportedly titled “Knights Unscripted” -will feature hidden cameras in hallways, body cams for select teachers, and “confessional booths” for students to vent about math checkpoints, slow walkers, and long lunch lines. The school’s 3,000+ students will reportedly be the unwitting stars of what ABC is calling “the most ambitious high school reality show in history.”
Reactions from students and staff have ranged from excitement to complete horror.
“Are you telling me my breakdown in the library over my AP Bio test is going to be nationally televised?” one junior asked. “This is worse than the time I fell down the K-Pod stairs in front of everyone.”
Others see potential in the project. “I’m absolutely using this to launch my influencer career,” a sophomore said. “I’ll have brand deals by the time I graduate.”
Teachers, however, aren’t as thrilled. “I did not sign up to be a reality TV character,” said one anonymous teacher. “If I wanted to have cameras following my every move I would have become an actor, or at least a Youtuber.”
Another teacher was overheard saying, “If they’re gonna record my seventh-period class, they’re gonna need a lot of bleep buttons.”
Despite the mixed reactions, ABC producers are determined to move forward. “We want to capture the raw, unfiltered experience of high school,” another producer said. “Think Survivor, but instead of the jungle, it’s the student parking lot at eight AM.”
While details remain under wraps, leaked production notes suggest key storylines may include:
- Hallway Speed walkers vs. Human Traffic Jams – Who will win? Spoiler Alert; No one.
- The Cafeteria Chaos – Shedding light onto the politics of table seating and the emotions students feel when the frozen yogurt machine isn’t working at cookie corner.
- Fire Drill vs Math Test: A deep dive into the joy students feel after hearing the fire drill go off minutes before a big test.
There’s even talk of special guest appearances from Abbott Elementary cast members. “I mean, Quinta Brunson has to come visit, right?” one hopeful student said.
While the student body debates whether this is a nightmare or big break, the North Penn School Board is reportedly scrambling to figure out if this is even legal.
ABC has yet to confirm when -or if- Knights Unscripted will officially premiere. Some rumors suggest students will have to sign waivers before filming begins, while others claim ABC is prepared to pixelate every face in the building if necessary.
Either way, North Penn students should prepare themselves. Because whether they like it or not, their high school experience might just become must-watch TV. So stay tuned. Or don’t. But either way, it will be playing during mid-day time and will be on in the background of every grandmother’s living room.