Disclaimer: 90% of this piece contains spoilers. The other 10% is an enthusiastic discussion of those spoilers.

Let’s start with a brief public service announcement to always read an email to completion, whether it be an Amazon shipping receipt or a career-defining memorandum of infinite consequence.

Capice?

Season six of Brooklyn Nine-Nine opens with the worst kind of miscommunication; instead of the promotion of a lifetime, Captain Raymond Holt, once presumed to be the first (fictional) openly gay commissioner of the NYPD, watches his dreams crumple into a speck of dust as bland and uninspiring as his newly-minted superior, Commissioner John Kelly.

Immediately following the bad news, Terry and Rosa scramble to mollify the ‘leadership void’ caused by Holt’s leave of absence. Not one for rom-coms, tissues, and carbohydrates, a despondent Holt conveniently ends up at. . . the exact location of Jake and Amy’s honeymoon.

Because nothing screams “lifetime of marital bliss” like soaking in a hot tub with your boss’s gloomy disposition!

Ethical conundrums and Mexican sunshine abound as the desperate detectives struggle to restore the fervor of their dearest friend, while attempting – unsuccessfully – to enjoy their getaway. True to Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s idiosyncratic approach, a discombobulated array of NSFW tees, depressing coconut beverages, and Die Hard-themed philandering combines to bring the tone of season six to fruition:

Care less.

Do more.

Fight harder.

All it all, a powerful detraction from the markedly less political (though equally weighty) colloquy of seasons one through five.

Meanwhile, the remainder of the 99th precinct finds itself engrossed in yet another scandalous marital conundrum: Charles and Gina’s parents are abruptly divorcing, thanks to. . . facial recognition software? Just kidding. The real reason is a bit less breezy, but I’m temporarily suspending all further spoilers to examine Gina Linetti’s enigmatic, twisted reservoir of compassion.

You noticed it too, right?

In every previous season, Gina thoroughly relished her “Paris of people” persona, taking advantage of every opportunity to berate friends, belittle colleagues, and yes, sing the praises of herself in the process. Yet despite the bitterness with which her sarcasm progressed, by the sixth season’s premiere, Gina improbably arrives at the decision to. . . use her vitriolic prowess for honorable reasons?

What’s next? Will Rosa get a psychology degree? Will Jake become fiscally responsible? Will Pimento return and act like a normal adult?

(Round of applause for the writers – well played.)

Taken at face value, the episode’s final moments appear to be fairly anticlimactic. Newlyweds Jake and Amy lament their return to work while Holt regresses to his typical wardrobe of stodgy uniforms, absent promiscuous fruit. The creative team would’ve been entirely justified in ending it there. Instead, the elevator doors creak open to reveal the epitome of chaos. Commissioner Kelly has closed part of the precinct for “renovations,’ the first drop in what is presumed to be a thunderstorm of retaliatory measures aimed at squelching dissent against his Vigilant Policing Initiative.

“Prepare yourselves,” Holt announces, his voice hardening with the brand of stoicism exclusively reserved for crushing, personality-defining disillusionment. “The Nine-Nine is at war with the NYPD.”

I’ve got my popcorn ready.

Let the fireworks begin.