Seniors, listen up: the time is coming for all of us to submit our yearbook write-ups, or as we’ve affectionately dubbed them, senior quotes. Now only historical, influential people have earned the right to be quoted, so I suppose this is our way of saying we’ve finally made it – at least in the halls of North Penn. Current sophomores and juniors, feel free to quote anything I say now in your critical papers next year. I just have to graduate before it’s all official. But while people like me often have too much to say, senior quotes are a source of agony for those among us that like to think too much. There is way too much to consider, like should it be witty? Serious? Should you give up and quote a real famous person? “A ‘C’ is average!” just may stay with me all of my life…

While I can’t answer those questions because I really don’t want to be responsible for any of your legacies, which could be decidedly regrettable, trying to come up with my own senior quote helped me realize this could be a great opportunity for all my fellow multiples. North Penn is a huge school, and though my graduating class is relatively smaller than years past, there is bound to be a smattering of twins and triplets just dying to be recognized.

For some, the yearbook will be the one place where they’ll lose the anonymity of different classes and finally be identified as a sibling to those who bother to look. For others it’s a battle ground playing host to eighteen years of questionably healthy sibling rivalry. Every sibling knows that each day of existence is spent in constant competition of trying to prove who is better or escaping the obnoxious shadows cast by brother or sister. So never fear, you twos and threes – despite leaving the singletons to fend for themselves, consider me as your other half or third or fourth in that this week I’ve got your back.

I believe it’s important to first address a rarity among multiples, and that is a relationship without feuding. It’s nice that you realize blood is thicker than water, not that you’d know since you’ve never felt the need to cut a b…rother or sister over the TV remote. Your quotes can balance each other in sweet musings over lifelong friendship and better halves. Your mother will tear up, but not one of you will argue over who’s her favorite because you’re each other’s favorites, and that’s really all that matters. Congratulations on making it this far together.

But the rest of us mere mortals who are ready to make their NFL debut as defensive linemen before their sister/brother escapes into the safety of the public eye wearing something that DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM, my suggestion to all of you is to duke it out between the pages of the Accolade. Did your sibling steal your best quote? Immortalize this egregious overstep by throwing said sibling under the bus in your own quote. Let the entire school know you’re the smarter, prettier (handsomer?), more talented twin or triplet. Just because your names rhyme or you look alike does not make you the same person when clearly you have so much more going for you then the person who just inconveniently happens to share your page space. None of us chose the multiple life; it chose us. All we can do now is show it who’s boss.

But I suppose it would be wrong to alienate the great majority of my readers who have regrettably never experienced what it’s like to always know a familiar face. So, singles who want to mingle among the multiples, if you really want to mess people up, seek out the person who shares your Accolade airspace and work out a little deal. It is up to the two of you, three of you, or heck, even four of you to gently break the best kept secret of North Penn: you’re all actually related. I bet you nobody sees that one coming.

So buckle down and group up, seniors. The clock is ticking down with the time you have left to straighten everyone out. Stacy is not Tracy, all of the Kims and Patels are each his or her own unique person, and I’ll always be my mother’s favorite child. It’s in print, so no one can deny it now! May the best quotes win, North Penn, and I’ll see you all next week.