Skibidi. Bzzz. This is a checkpoint so it will not be eligible for SCL. Bzzz. Sus. Bzzz. Everyone fails this test. Bzzz. On god. Bzzz. You should know this already. Bzzz. Slay. Bzzz. I know you were in the hospital yesterday, but the assignment was on canvas. Bzzz. Sigma. Bzzz. 

Get used to hearing those Bzzz’s. As the Trump Administration seeks to get away from a “woke” America, so will North Penn High School. Beginning on Monday April 21, 2025, there will be newly implemented microphones in all classrooms in an attempt to cut back on the “woke” vocabulary used by students and teachers. With vocal recognition and an instant alert sent to administration, North Penn will be required by the Trump Administration to crack down on these rules. 

Governmental bodies believe the constant usage of this horrid vocabulary from teachers and students in the district is severely affecting performance, so North Penn is concerned that the repercussions of not banning this language could result in funding being cut from the soon to be defunct Department of Education. 

“I mean like, on God this is stupid. They’ve already banned our cellphones, now they’re gonna ban our words? The government thinks they can just take away our freedom of speech. Negative 1000 aura,” exclaimed angry North Penn High School Senior, Terry Bull. 

The students are angry, the parents are angry, and even the teachers aren’t too thrilled. 

“You know, maybe if they want us to stop talking about SCL, they should just get rid of it entirely. There was no such thing as second chance learning in my day,” stated frustrated North Penn High School math teacher, Mr. Al Geebra.