Hello mate. How are ya? I’m doing fine. Welcome to my fantasy football column!

We are nine games into the season and Chelsea is looking like a dominant force as they sit on top of the table with 7-2-0 record. Fueling the Blues are some key recent additions as Cesc Fabregas has been more than wonderful in the middle of the pitch and is also your leading scorer of fantasy points in the midfield. Diego Costa also has been sensational as he is a joint leader in goals and third highest scorer in fantasy among forwards.

While the usual suspects like Eden Hazard are also contributing, Branislav Ivanovic has been the best defender so far. Because of his sensational plays in the right back position while being able to play central role has made him a key component in…

…What, is this not what you wanted when you meant fantasy football? Oh, you want the barbaric “sport” of you silly Americans named “football,” despite the fact that the ball is only kicked maybe five times a game. Right on, right on.

Players I LOVE

QB Tom Brady, New England Patriots: It’s a matchup between the leaders of AFC and two legendary, Hall of Fame-worthy quarterbacks. If he’ll be putting up monster numbers in any game this season, it’s going to be against – who else – Peyton Manning.

QB Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers: A good game, an OK game, and then a duck. Notice the trend? He has thrown an interception in four straight games and fumbled the ball twice in the last four. So why is he on the love list? Because it can’t get worse. He has a very favorable matchup coming, as he will face bottom-six teams against quarterbacks except the Vikings and the Browns. He is a good buy-low candidate and one that will pay off handsomely.

QB Colin Kaepernick, San Francisco 49ers: I feel like he is always underappreciated. He has been a top-15 quarterback, thrown for over 200 yards and a touchdown every week, and deserves some respect. He faces the Rams team that he burned last time out, as he threw for 343 yards along with three TDs.

RB Ahmad Bradshaw, Indianapolis Colts: Is it only a matter of time before he gets hurt again? Possibly. However, he has been tearing the defense apart on the ground and in the air as he established himself as the best two-way weapon the league. With Trent Richardson still limping, Bradshaw will undoubtedly have his game face on against his former team, the Giants, who have been horrendous at stopping runs.

RB Ronnie Hillman, Denver Broncos: After another victim of Matthew Berry curse, Montee Ball, went down, Hillman has been solid after taking over, either recording 100 yards rushing or two touchdowns in his three starts. While Peyton Manning would throw, throw, and throw some more in the showdown against Tom Terrific, Hillman should make the most of his opportunities against the Patriots run defense, which has not been so terrific this year.

RB Mark Ingram, New Orleans Saints: Remember when the Saints couldn’t run the ball? What was that like, dad? Even with the likes of Khiry Robinson and Pierre Thomas, Ingram has separated himself as the alpha dog of the New Orleans backfield. Carolina D has not been as they were advertised in preseason, and the Alabama product looks to run all over them like he did against the Packers to truly shed his bust label.

RB Denard Robinson, Jacksonville Jaguars: Remember when he was a quarterback? Yeah, college. First it was Toby Gerhart, then Storm Johnson, now Denard Robinson got the hold of the position, and it’s looking like he isn’t going to let it go for a while. Prominent member of DTINLUTIN, the Bengals have been more of a housecat this season.

WR Michael Crabtree, San Francisco 49ers: Could this week be THE week? Crabtree grabbed three touchdowns all year, one of which was against the Rams, who he is facing this week. If he doesn’t come through, then I can see him really slipping.

WR DeAndre Hopkins, Houston Texans: Best fantasy defense this season? Would you have guessed the Eagles in the preseason? Me neither. However, that’s not to say that it is a good defense, as they are still very leaky, but they generate so many turnovers. While it is quite risky to throw a QB out there against the Birds, receivers like Hopkins should thrive on the aggressive nature of Philly secondary.

WR Terrence Williams, Dallas Cowboys: He is a big play guy that lives on TDs. Arizona has allowed twelve touchdowns in the air while averaging 311 yards per game. Watch out.

TE Travis Kelce, Kansas City Chiefs: No team has allowed more touchdowns in the air than the Jets. Not one. Also a great matchup for Alex Smith as well, since the Jets secondary is as bad as their front line is good.

TE Larry Donnell, New York Giants: He has proved that he is as inconsistent as one can be, and this week is a good bet for him to break out once again, as he has been quiet for a few weeks and will be facing the Colts defense that allowed the sixth most fantasy points against opposing tight ends.

Cincinnati Bengals D/ST: If not Jacksonville, who? If not now, when? If not here, where?

Washington Redskins D/ST: Teddy Bridgewater is no Brett Favre. Cordarrelle Patterson had one good game. If you are scared of the Vikings offense, good luck surviving Halloween.

Players I HATE

QB Carson Palmer, Arizona Cardinals: He is back, and he was not afraid to introduce himself as he torched the Eagles D with 329 yards and a pair of touchdowns, including one to John Brown to break the Philly fans’ hearts. However, it came at the expense of twenty-two incompletions, as he still looked a bit rusty last week. It won’t get any easier as he faces the Cowboys, who have been (surprisingly) excellent in secondary.

QB Robert Griffin III, Washington Redskins: Bobby Three Sticks is ready to roll… or is he? Originally expected to make a debut after Week 10, former Offensive Rookie of the Year has been named starter for the game against the Vikings. As much as I love his talent, I need to see him play a full game of football well before I’m trusting him.

QB Michael Vick, New York Jets: Just in case you were ACTUALLY considering….

RB Whoever starts for the Patriots: Unlike Ronnie Hillman, these boys are not getting much love as Tom Brady will have to air out everything he got to keep pace with Peyton Manning. Also, there is no guarantee on who’s going to get the most touches either.

RB Chris Ivory, New York Jets: Well, the Jets can’t throw, so the only option they have left is…run the ball. Against the Chiefs, who still haven’t allowed a rushing touchdown this season? Good luck, you will need it.

RB Jerick McKinnon, Minnesota Vikings: While he has been awarded the starting gig for the Vikings, he is still yet to score a touchdown this season, and the Redskins’ frontline is much better than you might think. With the resurgence of Cordarrelle Patterson, Minnesota would be more comfortable airing it out against the disastrous secondary.

WR Julian Edelman, New England Patriots: Brandon LaFell seems to be the favorite of Brady nowadays, and it’s only a matter of time before LaFell officially takes over the number one spot.

WR Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals: See Palmer, Carson. Last week was the first time Fitzy has topped 100 yards this season. Fitzgerald simply is not the reliable playmaker that he once was.

WR Percy Harvin, Seattle Seahawks…I mean New York Jets: Michael Vick? Michael Vick.

TE Jimmy Graham, New Orleans Saints: I called Julius Thomas right last week. Can I get it again? Of course I can. The Panthers have not been exceptionally good against tight ends, or any offense for that matter, but hobbling Jimmy Graham will definitely not be overused, especially with the playoff slowly looming.

TE Heath Miller, Pittsburgh Steelers: Big Ben had a game of his life last week. Key word: A. Is he ever going to repeat that performance? I would rather bet on the Eagles winning the Super Bowl in next decade.

Denver Broncos/New England Patriots D/ST: Did I mention that Peyton and Brady are playing each other?