With many new social media outlets emerging in our culture, it is only natural for teenagers to jump on the bandwagon and join these sites. But, as a competitive culture, (having evolved from Darwin’s principle of natural selection) we have to be the best at everything, even menial social networking medias. When MySpace was introduced, we fought to be a part of as many “top 10” friends list as possible. Having the sickest layout on our profile was also a major requirement for MySpace popularity. Facebook emerged and now all of a sudden our profile pictures have to contain a ridiculous amount of likes. We fight for more followers on Twitter and tumblr. And now the holy grail of social media networking sites has come across our pathways: Instagram. And I know we are ALL wondering how to thrive in this cutthroat media of Instagram, so I am here, to besiege upon my readers, how to become Instagram famous. Hold on to your seats, or iPhones should I say, because you are about to become Instagram famous in a matter of seconds.

1. THE MOST IMPORTANT INSTAGRAM RULE IS MASTERING THE ART OF “THE HASHTAG” WHEN IN DOUBT. HASHTAG IT UP. There is no such thing as an overkill amount of hash tags. Use as many hash tags as possible, including ones that have nothing to do with your photo! For example, some trendy topics this fall would be: #mileycyrus #Iwonderwhatherdadthinks #lookatmystarbuckscoffeethatIpaidtoomuchmoneyfor #pumpkinspicelattearrivesearlyatstarbucksOMG, etc. Whatever is trending, hashtag it! Don’t be shy! Another scandal revolving around Miley Cyrus? Hashtag it! Is she really pregnant with Juicy J’s baby? Hashtag it! Another tragic Kristen Stewart and Robbie Patt break up? Hashtag it! What do you do when the iPhone 6gsc with iOS 9.453 comes out? That’s right, you got it! Hashtag it!
2. The bell curve of prime Instagramming times. The BEST time to Instagram all of your significant, precious, and relevant photos are around 7pm-9pm. Let’s face it; no one opens their eyes until 9am. Especially seniors, they don’t wake up until 4^th period, so if their eyes aren’t open, how do you expect them to see their cellphone screen and scrutinize all of the posting activity? Exactly! Right after dinner time, you see a flood of lovely food snapshots that everyone cares SO much about and homework complaints! So if you want more likes (who doesn’t?), try posting around this crucial time frame.
3. Share your Instagram on every social media site that is out there including: Facebook, twitter, tumblr, MySpace Flickr, ask.fm, Yahoo, Google docs, your 5^th period math’s edmodo account, send mass text messages to all your friends to promote yourself! You never know who will come across your 5 year old MySpace account and see your Instagram url!
4. LIKE YOUR OWN POSTS. After 11 likes make sure you like your own photo! The more likes the more popular the post will be! And heck, it’s not like anyone is going to read the likes anyway, so like it up yourself! One like could be the different from 99 likes and 100 likes. And if were being honest, that’s almost the deciding factor if I follow you or not. 99 likes just does not cut it, but 100?! That’s saying something. If you REALLY want to get creative, make ANOTHER Instagram account, and just let everyone know it’s a “backup”. Not only could you go from 99 to a100, but to 101! That’s the Instagram famous purview, if I do say so myself.
5. Praise people on their photos by telling them unnecessary compliments like “omg your hair is so beautiful” even though the photo is of their outfit. Everyone loves compliments! Even ones that don’t make any sense! Comment ALL of their photos, and then they’ll think how nice and generous you are, and they will SO follow you! This is guaranteed.
6. Make sure you use as many filters as possible, but caption it with “NO FILTERS!”
7. Check to see if your account is PUBLIC, no one wants to wait thirty seconds to get their request approved. We live in a high speed world, thirty seconds just isn’t nearly fast enough.
8. Like someone’s photos from August of 2010. This really shows how dedicated of a follower you are! You will definitely get a follow back. (if you’re lucky and get blocked, that is only because they can’t handle you’re dedication as a fellow Instagramer) “Wow this person really cares about what I posted two years ago, that’s not creepy, stalker-ish, or obsessive at all! I will surely follow them back!”
9. And since I’m giving you all these amazing tips, you might as well follow me (because you can’t use these tips unless you follow me @jhacquelhyn).

Now, I know it’s going to take a moment for you to digest all of my golden advice, but I hope that these simple tips can take you from Instaboring to Instafamous. From an Instanobody to an Instasomebody. (Since I’m basically handing out followers here. You are welcome).