And to think my critical paper would be the last of my actual scholarly endeavors. It’s funny how midnight deadlines make all other due dates a lot farther than they appear, like the fact that AP tests were in 2 weeks, and by funny, of course, I mean absolutely insane. Where did all this time go? I swear I just learned how hablar en español just last week, but apparently College Board thinks I’m ready. Sr. Vidal is a nervous mama bird, bless his heart, so the fact that I’m writing this instead of sleeping or studying is going against all of his reglas. Lo siento Sr.! But sometimes sacrifices must be made for good journalism.

Unfortunately this will only be mediocre journalism this week. I won’t sugarcoat the harsh realities of testing week, as I’m sure most of you are familiar with the caffeine induced lethargy you thought would help you survive three hours of straight testing. I don’t even like coffee, but already I can feel my heart beating too fast and my eyes glazing over as I fret over my upcoming scores. I thought paying a nonprofit organization $90 would be more than enough of a bribe to earn me five on the exam, but now I’m not so sure. Think about it – it can’t be that expensive to power a tree suitable for the Keebler elves (I mean, why else would the College Board emblem be an acorn?). What else are you doing with all of that extra dinero, hmmm College Board? Buying more red ink to tear apart my dreams of becoming a bilingual English major? Don’t think I can’t see you through my tears of despair!

I apologize profusely for my lack of attention towards imminent AP testing dates, but to write the Korner on a day other than late Monday night would be even more of an egregious misstep than skipping breakfast tomorrow. I hope around 10:30 tomorrow morning you all feel very grateful you’re not me, fumbling through a conversation entirely in Spanish that will consist primarily of holas and artfully conspicuous English phrases. For everyone else who has an AP test this week or the following week, I can’t promise it will get better. I can promise, however, that the mid-test Oreo cookie snack break will be the shortest one you’ve ever experienced. Buenas suerte, North Penn, y veré a ustedes la próxima semana!