I disappear for all of one week, North Penn, and suddenly there’s talk about replacing the Korner. For shame, for shame! I can’t help it if due dates are closer than they appear, much like how the garage door gets closer when my sixteen year old sister can’t find the brakes. (But what’s one more reckless driver, eh North Penn? There’s already a parking lot full of them, but I digress.) How can students be expected to jump back into the routine after missing a couple of days? One day I can understand, but two or three suddenly presents a backlog of work that a vast majority will have no motivation to complete. I speak from experience after all, and besides, all of us reading either are students or were students and know for a fact that this struggle I’m talking about is very, very real.

School is this one constant element in our chaotic student careers, and it’s going to march onward even if that means dragging us along through flu infested winters and beachy hazes. When I was in elementary school, I used to pride myself on perfect attendance if only because I was afraid of all the makeup work. Little did I know I should’ve enjoyed my recess-filled reprieve more thoroughly than I did; a missed day in third grade resulted in a sticker and spelling worksheet. A missed day in high school results in missing the only day your guidance counselor can see you, four tests, an oral exam, and an overdue library book notice. Meanwhile you’re either dying of monkeypox and don’t have the strength to care, or you’re visiting your accepted institution of higher education and really have no reason to care.

Which is why I’ve never understood kids who beg a day off of school to catch up on more schoolwork. I refused to believe that I am the only one who sees this as a counterproductive method. How are you not walking balls of anxiety? I see you, AP students, but I don’t know how you all do it.

And what about the poor children who are subject to the travel whims of their parents? I feel it may be rather detrimental to trap students inside to finish a critical paper when they could be exploring the wonders of Mexico…or New Jersey…

But such is the cry of teachers everywhere that the show must go on unless you plan on taking the entire class with you on your trip (in which case I’ll send out my class schedule to any takers). So my advice to all you coming back off of an illness or an impromptu vacay is to take all of your work in stride. Technically you have a day to make up the day that you lost, or however that rule works. There are plenty of things you can quote me on, just not school rules. I’ve missed a day myself, so I’m mildly dazed and confused.

When it comes down to it, North Penn, I suppose makeup work isn’t as bad as we all make it out to be. A day here and day there really doesn’t amount to missing all that much in the long run, but for those of you coasting on a month’s worth of missed homework and forged doctors notes, best of luck to you. I offer you the Korner to read as an excuse for wasting even more time, where at least here you can laugh instead of crying over homework.