I’ve been lying to all of you, North Penn. I thought I would be alright, but carrying around the weight of this secret has just been too much to bear. Someone needs to know, and it only makes sense that I choose all of you. See, my affliction descended one fateful Monday night, beginning, like all of my problems usually do, as a good intention in its most nascent form. For once in my entirely selfish teenage existence, I wanted to try something nice for someone other than myself. Perhaps it was the light of the full moon, or that ill-advised pact I made regarding my rhyming ability, but my plan completely backfired. Instead of a lyrical work of art, I created a lyrical nightmare that reminds me why I ought to stick to mockery.

Devin Welsh, I am so sorry I forgot to mention you in last week’s Ode to the Knight Crier Staff. Just because he is a new addition to the team doesn’t mean he is any less deserving. So Devin, here is your very own Korner shout out.  It’s a place of very high esteem; just ask Mr. and Mrs. Krane. Sorry to everyone else who assumed I would be announcing my sudden conversion to lycanthropy. I’m still very clearly human…

…Which leads me to this week’s also very human topic of forgetfulness. We all do it, even if you forget that you do, so it’s perfectly acceptable to acknowledge it. I just did, and I’m feeling, well, still slightly awkward over this blunder in the first place, but I’m just generally a slightly awkward person. I’ve successfully returned to my natural state, so I have faith in the rest of you.

But forgetfulness is a funny thing, isn’t it? No one can remember what they had for breakfast, but they can agonize over what they said to their first grade crush. Chances are, he or she doesn’t remember that particular day because they’re busy trying to figure out if they packed a lunch. So over time, society has given us ways to get around memory’s idle frivolousness.

• Tie a piece of string around your finger. Now, I’m not really sure what this does other than flaunt your inclinations for tying sophisticated knots. There’s probably some cute myth whereby tying the string to one’s finger, one ties whatever is important to the brain, but you’ll have to forgive me; I forgot to look it up, and I was all out of string. But the real question here is not about what you’ve forgotten. It’s why string? Does ribbon work just as well? Silly string? Licorice ropes? I’d spend so much time worried about which kind of material would most effectively help me remember that I would forget why I was tying the string in the first place.

• Obtain a Remembrall. Supposedly it turns red whenever you’ve forgotten something, but if it couldn’t help Neville remember, who is WIZARD mind you, then the rest of us mere mortals are probably doomed to repeat our mistakes forever.

• Write it down. Unless you’re me, of course, and forget where you wrote it.

There was supposed to be a sassy ending, in normal Korner fashion, but I’ve decided to keep in with this week’s topic by inadvertently forgetting what it was going to be. Just do me favor, North Penn, and don’t forget to come back next week!