Well North Penn, it’s officially 2016, which means I’ll be writing January 2015 on all of my assignments for the next month until it finally sinks in. It also means I’ll be starting my annual resolution collection jar, because if I had a nickel for every time someone asked about my New Year’s Resolution (with a capital ‘R’ of course), my college tuition would no longer be such a daunting number. The thing is, I’m resolved not to have a resolution because I get more things done out of spite. (Only kidding…) But when it comes down to it, resolutions this time of year are about as effective as the “goals” you chart in sophomore and junior health class.

Don’t get me wrong; for the elite few that have motivated in their vocabularies this early in the school year, all the more power to you. I hope it works out. But for the rest of us who use “motivated” ironically, of the quote unquote and sleep it off variety, I’m not sure who we think we’re fooling.

Gyms were rushed, cabinets organized, and junk food tossed with watery goodbyes as soon as the clock struck midnight. These New Year resolutions to stay fit, keep clean, and eat healthy are all well and good, admirable even, but when they last about as long as the day itself, they’re not very beneficial. The best way to get people not to do something is to tell them to do it. Just ask any ten year old, and they’ll gleefully tell you ‘no.’ In that sense it’s almost natural that we lose interest in our goals because we never wanted to have them in the first place.

Maybe the “old you” from 2015 wasn’t the best you could be, but don’t change; we like you just the way you are. (Most of you, anyway.) This “New Year, New Me” crusade isn’t helping anyone, despite its pleasant alliteration. Indeed it is a new year; that’s generally what happens when earth makes its revolution around the sun. However, you are still you. New is a general term, but better is entirely subjective. Becoming an improved version of you is more of a personal victory than following some half-baked kale diet for three months. You may actually become a better person just by turning down the kale in the first place. Here’s to a year of standing up for yourselves!

I’ve kept it short and sweet this week, North Penn, so you all have time for some serious introspection. Are your resolutions worth it? Are they even resolutions? (I see all of you, you stop-homework-and-save-a-tree people. The environment can’t hide your laziness forever!) Whether you stick to it, or ditch your color-coded notebook of naive hope in a fit of despair, just make sure your motive stays the same. If any of you change anything at all, just do it for yourself.