There’s a major epidemic occurring here at NPHS, but the efforts put forth trying to end it have just not been enough. Mrs. Kathleen Kelley, a gym and Health teacher, has been spearheading the project, but has just recently called in outside help to once and for all get rid of the problem that is PDA.
PDA, or public display of affection, is shown almost constantly throughout the hallways of North Penn. Couples kissing, holding hands, just hanging on their significant other everywhere you turn (you know… the “prolonged stationary embrace). Kelley has been trying to rid the school of this PDA, but realized that she couldn’t do it alone.

“After all my efforts, I just simply can’t get these kids to separate and get their hands off each other. Even me spraying them with water doesn’t make them stop! So, I reached out for some outside help. Immediately, they sent out two “new students” were sent to see how bad it really was.”
No one suspected that they were anything other than students because they looked so young, and went through the day as normal kids.

After scoping out the site, the two reported back to their superiors that PDA was indeed an issue and that it was taking over NPHS. One commented, “I couldn’t even open my locker because there was a couple making out in front of it! After standing there for a couple awkward minutes, they finally noticed, stopped what they were doing, and moved in front of the locker next to mine to continue their PDA.”

The other “new student” saw that in between each class, there were at least 3 couples he saw kissing in multiple hallways. “I get you’re happy to see your boyfriend or girlfriend, but do you have to have make a scene in the corner like you haven’t seen your partner in a year? You just saw them last period!”
This experimental observation period has now resulted in an amendment to the student handbook: The Stopping Affection Rule. The SAR is new to NPHS, and is hopeful in helping once and for all end the PDA problem. If caught breaking this rule, students first receive a detention, and if the violate the rule a second time, they get Sunday School.

Kelley is ecstatic, and couldn’t be happier with the results the new rule has given. “With the new rule in place, I have seen significantly fewer couples kissing in the halls, and that makes me one happy teacher.” Kelley explained that she didn’t need nor want to be seeing her students get so close and personal, and that she probably wasn’t the only person with that feeling, too.
The school is now better off with PDA out of the way. The next problem to tackle? All these April Fool’s Day articles.