When the bizarre and unexplainable start to dominate our news, we have to wonder… is it actually The Apocalypse? iI its shadow dawning over us even though we survived 2012? Or is it just our imagination? How do we even know if it’s creeping around the corner to get us? Will the four horsemen appear out of nowhere? Will zombies suddenly crawl out of the ground and eat us all? Or do the weird, wild and just plain bizarre news headline serve as enough warning that indeed this may be the apocyliptic age?
I guess the news tops it all. If you have been paying attention in the news lately, they’re some crazy things happening in the world right now. Why do we do what we do? What makes us go over the edge and go wild? Why is Miley Cyrus a Twerkaholic? Why does Harry Styles have a butterfly tattoo on his chest? I guess you get the point, but do we not think before we act anymore? Here are a few headlines and capsules from the, well… bizarre news stories over the past few months.
Bride Pushes Groom Over Cliff
Maybe you have not heard of this tale… And trust me; you know if its mega news when People magazine dedicates its front cover to this story. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jordan Graham, the bride with, well… issues. She said “I do” to Cody Johnson, the poor fellow that’s going die eight days after his wedding. The couple reportedly got into an argument on their honeymoon and Jordan had suggested that the couple went hiking to release stress.
After entering the Glacier National Park in Flathead County, Montana, their little spat continued. After words were exchanged, according to Graham, Johnson grabbed her arm and Graham pushed him. So obviously, the two of them didn’t let go of the argument. The crazy bride decided to play innocent and say Johnson grabbed her by the arm which means… she should push him to his death.
Coincidently, when Graham pushed Johnson, there was a cliff right behind Johnson. What a shocker! I mean just image how the blushing bride must feel. Graham just stood there while watching her husband tumble a hundred feet to his death; nothing says “I love you” more than that right?
According to FBI Affidavits, the bride had cold feet before she walked down the aisle. Graham confided in a friend “Oh well I’m about to talk to him” hours before she killed him. I guess now we know what the fight was about. But can you blame Johnson? Who wouldn’t get upset when your new wife tells you she’s not feeling it anymore?
Friends of the couple say that there are not surprised. And neither am I, I mean it’s so obvious that she was never into him. Who goes hiking on their honeymoon? That’s like a cry for help that their marriage is falling apart. Family friend Tracy Maness said “Nobody is shocked at all; she’d been telling people she knew she never wanted to get married and just wanted a big wedding.” Newsflash, you could’ve just worn a big puffy wedding gown and thrown yourself a sweet 16 all over again.
Jordan Graham is currently out on bond, and if convicted she could be spending the rest of her life in prison on a second-degree murder charge. Well, if she does go to jail, at least she’ll have a nice story to share with her cell mates during story time.
Woman Gives Birth to Monkey
Fifty Shades of Monkey: Accidental or Intentional? Back in July, a woman in Kaduna, Nigeria became the proud mama of a baby chimp. And where is her baby daddy you might ask? Probably somewhere in the jungle eating a bug.
The woman shocked many as she pushed out an eight pound half-baby half monkey out. The baby came out breeched and what alarmed many doctors and nurses was the baby was born with a monkey-like face and ears with a human body. The baby died shortly after birth but still made headlines around the world as being dubbed the first monkey-like baby.
Human evolution does state that there is a connection with humans and apes because apes are the common ancestor of the human. I guess she connected with a monkey a little bit too much.
Prince Pays $500,000 for 15 Minute Meeting with Kristen Stewart
Ten points for team desperate. A Middle Eastern Prince paid half a million dollars for a meeting with the moody Kristen Stewart.
Why K-Stew? She probably sucked all of the happiness out of him. Why couldn’t he set a meeting with Willow Smith? She could’ve taught him how to whip his hair back and forth without losing any brain cells. The Prince later met up with Kristen at Madison Square Garden where she brought her one faced emotion.
The Twilight star later donated the big bucks to a Hurricane Sandy relief effort. Well, at least one good thing came out of the whole meeting. I hope the meeting was worth it Middle Eastern prince, ‘because you ain’t gonna see her again, unless you have another half a million dollars lying around somewhere…
As you have just read, those were some wacky stories, by standards of “normal” journalism that is. No one knows for sure when, where, or how the apocalypse will come, but when it does, I’m pretty sure it will be featured on Yahoo!’s Trending Now list… just like these stories were – at least for a while.